


ways of seeing

by coquettishh



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt & Comfort, Mild Language, Mindless Fluff, Pining, casual diego, singing in diego's car, soft things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coquettishh/pseuds/coquettishh
Summary: a series of drabbles because i miss diego hargreeves ♡
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Reader, Diego Hargreeves/Reader
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42





	1. drives

**Author's Note:**

> reader has powers (but not part of the hargreeves family). enjoy ♡

The first time you realised it, it was just another day. Not a kiss, not a grand gesture of love from him or you. Not a life-risking moment where he saves your life from a present danger (or vice versa). Not even a whisper of an 'I love you'. You wished it was that easy. You wished it was that... Romantic.

It's raining hard. You can't bike back to your apartment from the gym at that rate, so Diego offers you a ride home, as he always does. You always declined; he's already doing so much—spending too much energy, too much time for you. But now you can't. The weather had other plans tonight. So, you let him. You're a little fatigued from training, letting yourself slump against the passenger seat, your gaze drifting to the buildings blurring from the car window. Diego sings along to a song on the radio, a slow Spanish ballad. You could only make out bits of what he was singing about, something about love and heartbreak? Something about wanting a person out of your reach.

You glance up at Diego as he sings, quietly taking in the moment. Your hands hurt from training, using powers you don't know how to hone, nothing in your life (well, lives) making sense.

But for some reason, this did.

He did.

You find yourself smiling, a strange feeling of gratitude coming over you. Grateful you're in this car right now. Grateful to have powers, even if they caused more harm than good to you right now. Grateful to have met him because of it. It hits you. As Diego drives through the busy city streets, tapping the steering wheel, his fingers dancing along to the rhythm of the song. It isn't gratitude you're feeling.

You're in _l_ _o_ —

Your eyes widen at the realisation and you shake your head immediately, almost to yourself, and he catches you. He laughs, asking, 'What? Is my singing _that_ bad?'

'No, I like it,' you quickly say, your voice almost a whisper, your hand turning up the volume in the car. The music drowning out your heart whispering, _I like you._

You let him drive you home after that day. There's something about being on the passenger side next to him, the way you take comfort in the silence between the two of you, the way his laughter fills up the car. Maybe you can get used to this. Forever.

Every time since that night he drops you off, he'd say it, without fail. 'You're home.' And you would laugh at him, trying to shrug off the warmth in his voice, afraid your mouth would confess what you held in your heart if you let your guard down.

It makes you wonder if he realized it. If he feels it too.

That he's home to you.


	2. weaknesses

You don't want to assume. After all, feelings can be deceiving. Especially your own. But you can't help but entertain the idea, in idle moments, at nights when you're about about to drift to sleep, or during your walks to the gym. Your heart pounds against your ribcage every time you do. The thought of Diego, together with you. You, holding his hands. Fingers intertwined. Talking about things you've always held back on saying, your heart open for him to see. Your lips and his closing the gap between each other.

The little what-ifs keep you up at night.

But now it's starting to distract you, in waking moments, in conversations with him, at times where you shouldn't even be thinking about it. It follows you around as you train at Al's gym with him today. It's harder to focus, harder to dodge his strikes—you were second-guessing everything.

Second-guessing training… Footwork… Your goddamn _feelings_.

'Keep up,' you hear him say, his voice almost sounding like an echo against your thoughts.

'Being an empath doesn't exactly _mean_ I can read what your knives feel like, Diego,' you bite back, dodging another knife. 'Knives don't have _feelings_!'

His stupid pointy knives. His stupid scars adorning his face. His stupid face distracting you. Being an empath _does_ help; you just aren't sure how to explain it to Diego. You could feel his tension when he's about to throw one at you, the hesitation because he's scared he'd hurt you, even if he hides it in front of you, acting tough 24/7. His left hook's about to hit you, and instinctively you dodge it, but you don't hit back. Your hands feel guided with each attempt, your body reacting accordingly, redirecting his hits away from you, but never inflicting any pain on him.

'I need you to actually start fighting back any time now,' Diego grins, noting your avoidant fighting style ( _if that even_ is _a fighting style..._ ). You see one of his small knives glinting at you, flipping it in his hand before throwing it towards you without caution. It almost hit you, missing you only by a couple of inches.

'I can't fight using my feelings!' you yell at him, almost in desperation.

'Don't you remember that time you blasted me away? Your emotion blast thing?'

 _Emotion blast thing? Who is letting him make up names for your powers? And that was one time._ 'That was a fluke, I was really angry at you that night—'

'Do that then. Be angry with me.'

Is he fucking kidding you right now? Angry with him? When the feelings you had for him presently was anything _but?_ There's no time for distractions; he already has knives in his hands he's about to throw. _First knife._ You manage to dodge it, thankfully, stumbling to the other side of the ring. _Second knife._ That one almost hit your leg, but you scramble away as fast as you can. You can barely catch your breath. He's running circles at you. Diego's fast. Too fast for you. 

You feel like you're in an odd dilemma — You didn't want him to hit you, but you didn't want to hit _him_. You want to impress him but not to the point where you hurt him in the process. So the third time he threw his knife at you, you close your eyes, trying to centre yourself in the space of a couple of seconds, because you know you can't dodge it. You're too slow, too unskilled to catch up to him. You shield your face with your arms in case whatever you had in mind doesn't work. But no impact came. No blood, no cuts, _nothing_. You open your eyes and see it, a couple of inches from you, his knife floating in mid-air between the two of you.

'Holy shit, you did it.'

You pluck it from where it was, smiling at the prize in your hands. _You did it._ Your head's throbbing a little, your body tingling from the sudden burst of energy expended. You allow yourself to collapse in the middle of the ring, out of breath. Diego lies down beside you, closing his eyes against the harsh light of the daylights in the gym. He looks so calm, like this. His facial expressions unguarded, letting you see him like this, so vulnerable.

'I think we can call it a night,' He tells you, breathless.

'You _think_?'

'Hey, you did well today. Stood your ground. Even if your legs were shaking after five minutes. (' _Jesus christ_ , don't rub it in—')' He pauses, opening his eyes to look at you before adding, 'Proud of you.'

His words make you fall silent, staying like this for a couple of moments, unsure of what to say. 'Hey,' your voice was a low whisper, propping your head against your hand, elbow bent as you lay on your side to look at him. 'You know, I just realized something.'

Diego grunts, shifting his body to face you, mirroring your position. 'Yeah?'

'I can stop your knives. With my powers.'

'So?'

'That means…' You sit up, flashing two finger guns at him, a grin spreading across your face. 

'I'm your _only weakness_.'

'Oh my god.' You hear him say your name under his breath, his hand on his face. You could almost hear the smile in his voice. Diego looks up at you as he lay on the floor, waving you away.

'Get some rest,' Diego murmurs at you, his voice gentle this time, devoid of any sarcasm. 'I'll drive you home.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos/comments appreciated! ♡


	3. coffee

Diego didn't object; he's grown comfortable to coffee catch-ups at Griddy's with you. He's always seen you drenched in sweat, your hair tied back, the anxiety in your face as you tried to make sense of your powers at Al's gym. He likes this more. You're more relaxed here, as you sipped coffee sitting in front of him, your hair styled differently, your lips curved into a smile. It catches him off guard, seeing you like this, smiling so much. He likes it.

* * *

You're catching up with his life too. At least, the cool superhero parts he so eagerly shared with you. Diego talks mostly about his vigilante life. The people he has saved, his incredibly brief time at the police academy, and how much he's preferred being on his own, using his powers like this. You like seeing him like this. No knives. Just an indigo jacket over a dark jumper. Getting rainbow sprinkles all over his clothes that you had to pick off for him when you get doughnuts, like a little kid. You like it more... Being like this.

You didn't pry too much about his other siblings, his friends, and the rest of his family. Talking about it felt like you were poking at an old wound, and you realised he avoided it as much as he can around you. You knew a little bit about his past, mostly through bits about the Umbrella Academy on the paper or on the news reports. Or on the book his sister wrote about them (which you've never really read, but found yourself often glancing at the back of the book whenever you're at the bookstore). You didn't have to use your powers to sense it. The way he shifts uncomfortably as you talk about your own family was enough.

So you ask him something else.

'So… seeing anyone in the city?' It's so awkward. So forced, and so… Unlike you. He knows it. But a part of you is curious. A part of you wants that little bit in your heart to get crushed, not to get your hopes up anymore, because it's so hard to be around him. Not in a terrible way. It's just been so distracting. You're figuring out your powers. You're figuring out _your life._ You didn't realise it came with you figuring out your feelings for Diego Hargreeves at the same time.

You just want him to break your heart. Then and there, at Griddy's, with coffee in your hands. You welcomed it. So you can focus on your something else. Like your powers. So you can focus on training. Move on with your life before anything ever started. So you can focus on _anything_ and _anyone_ but him.

'I do,' he says, and it takes you by surprise. I mean, of course he does. He's a good-looking guy and… So strong. And funny. And _kind._ Of course—

'I mean, I _did_ ,' he corrects himself, and then your heart hitches again, and you're no longer sure if you're built to take any of his surprises or heartbreak anymore. And you suddenly wish you have never asked, because now you're scared to have your heart broken or _worse..._ Get your hopes up. 'It was a while ago.'

He looks at you, his eyes studying you, waiting for your response.

' _Me?_ ' you ask him, and Diego smiles knowingly, still waiting. 'I mean... I did too. It was... It was rough. Breakups always are. It's hard to fall in love when you're... Feeling everything. And everyone. You don't know what's wrong or right. If they love you or not.'

'Ah,' he says, his gaze somewhere else. He can't bear look at you now, smiling sadly at him like that. 'Is that why...?'

'Why what?'

'Why you're training more. So you can... _Find love._ '

It takes you a couple of moments to regain your composure, and every second you stall Diego's grin just widens at the thought of you _training to find love_. So you fold your arms, closing your eyes so his gaze never meets yours. Because he knows when you're full of shit, and you're not ready for confessions yet. You're not ready to tell him you love him. You're not ready to tell him he's right. Not now. Not ever.

'That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard,' you finally say, rolling your eyes. ' _I'm_ training so I can kick your ass. Don't get it twisted, Hargreeves.'

And he laughs, and you with him.

* * *

The ride back to your apartment's good. Normal. He's singing his Spanish ballads again, tapping his fingers on the wheel. 'Your seatbelt's not on right,' he tells you, halfway through the drive, securing it for you like you're a little kid. It's the little things with him, you realise.

'Hey,' he suddenly says your name as you say your goodbyes, as you're about to step out of his car. Diego's looking distantly, his gaze fixed on the steering wheel.

'If you ever wanted to have dinner…' he starts, and it catches you off-guard, more than any knife he's thrown at you. You almost trip from where you stand, if that's even possible. 'Or j-just... Just hang out somewhere other than Griddy's...'

'...Tell me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos/comments appreciated! ♡


	4. post-date

'You got this. _You got this_ _._ ' you say to yourself, loud enough to elicit strange looks from the other people on the train. You feel your cheeks getting warm at the sudden attention, and you turn around, facing the train door in front of you. You recheck your phone with your free hand, swiping to the Map application. You check the route and how far along you are from the destination.

_Five minutes._

You walk a few of blocks from the train station, your breaths quicken each time you get closer to the place. Are you nervous? Or are you just… Bad at cardio? (Both, probably, if we're being honest.)

_Two minutes._

It's fine. Diego won't notice. You look… _you_ , right?

_One minute._

You see it, from across the way, the Academy. It's an old mansion, weathered with age. It looks grey and foreboding, just like the pictures of the billionaire who owned it. Your breath hitches as you come face to face with the house, looming over you like an old nightmare you once had. You know you couldn't sense inanimate objects or places, but as you come closer to it, there's a strange feeling of dread hanging over the mansion. A sense of fear.

You stand outside, right in front of the large ornate doors, waiting for Diego Hargreeves. You check your mobile phone reading his message again. He said something about meeting him there, giving you the address, before the two of you drive to Al's gym. So you wait. Your gym bag's digging into your shoulder as the minutes pass. You look up at the old mansion, and it seems to stare back at you, the dark and dusky windows glaring as you leant against the small, steel gate. Do you knock? Ring the doorbell? Let yourself in? No. No, of course not. As much as you want to say you know him better now, maybe you don't know so much after all. You're so curious to see what lay inside. Are the walls covered with photos of Diego and his siblings as kids? What does his childhood bedroom look like? What posters were up his wall when he was young? You wish you knew more about it. About him.

He appears as soon as you text him you're waiting outside, your message littered with all the emojis (you know he hates it when you do that). You turn around to face him, scarred face, tattered jumper, knife harness, boots and all.

'Wow,' you greet him, eyes wide, not hiding the awe in your face. 'This is a big ass mansion. Are you a prince or something?' You look at him up and down pensively, a finger on your chin. 'I mean, not saying you look like one but... You don't look like one.'

'Hi, how are you too,' He says your name in a low voice, his index finger and thumb pinching the bridge of his nose, feigning a headache. 'I don't know why I put up with this shit sometimes, I swear to god...'

You grin, teasing him further. 'Personally I think you're cute but, y'know, prince-like?' You say, trying to lighten the mood. 'I don't know about that.'

'" _Personally you think_ I'm cute? _"_ ' he echoes, his eyebrows knit in confusion, like those words together didn't make any sense for him, especially coming from you. Oh god. Your mouth. Your stupid mouth and your stupid heart need to _shut up_. He's looking at you incredulously. 'Jesus christ. Who are you and what did you do to my friend?'

'Hey, I can be nice sometimes, okay?' Keep it cool. Keep it fucking cool. Don't look like you're wavering. You gesture at the Hargreeves' mansion, as you walk beside him, steering the conversation away from your sudden compliment. 'It must've been an adjustment… Living in a mansion and then moving to the boiler room at Al's.'

'I'll pick the boiler room any day, lemme tell ya,' he wasn't joking anymore, the lightness in his voice disappearing. You knew. 'It looks like a palace outside, but inside…'

His voice trails off, falling silent. 'Sorry you had to meet me there.' he says, looking uncharacteristically glum, hands in pockets. 'I had to pick something up.' Diego sighs, leading you to his car a couple blocks away and you walk beside him, watching him in silence. 'Lotta bad memories… Lotta bad feelings.' he continues, more to himself than you. 'At least Mom's still okay.'

'Hey, you're good now.' You say after awhile, smiling sincerely this time. You aren't sure what his past was like, and the trauma's he's suffered, but you make sure you're there to ground him, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'Hargreeves, you're here now, and that's what matters.'

He murmurs a 'thanks', and you feel him ease into your smile.

'Well, _you're_ personally looking cute today,' he suddenly mumbles at you, trying to sound nonchalant about it. He studies you, eyeing the gym bag slung around your shoulder juxtaposing with the flowy midi dress you were wearing. Your hair’s done differently today, your face made up too. There’s a faint gloss on your lips, a tinge of blush on your cheeks. Oh god. Diego coaxes you for your gym bag, and you oblige, watching him sling it over his shoulder. You had to tell him.

' _Ihadadate_ ,' you say quickly in one breath, in a very small voice, as though you were embarrassed by the fact you had some semblance of a social life outside of Diego Hargreeves. His face lights up as you say it, like he just found an invitation to tease you.

'You had a _what?_ ' Oh, he's trying to be funny now, a smirk on his lips as he watches you squirm under his gaze. He hears it clearly the first time. But you play along, just happy his mood's lightening. 'I. Had. _A date._ ' You huff, folding your arms.

'Tell me about it.' his smile is wider now, watching you roll your eyes.

'Maybe after training.' You nudge his side with your elbow when you hear him say, 'Damn, _that bad?_ '. Diego's walking closer to you now, bumping shoulders, trying to get under your skin. You feel his fingers graze against your own, but you pay no mind to it, trying to keep it together as you match his pace.

' _Personally_ did you think they were as _cute as me?_ ' he asks you, and now you can't tell if he's joking or serious. God.

'Oh, _haha_. You'll never let that rest won't you?'

'Should've told them I was friends with a _prince_ ,' You went on. You muster a sad attempt of a curtsy before him, trying to hold back a laugh. 'Lord Hargreeves.' you say, feigning a lofty English accent. Your walk morphs into a dash before he can reply or react, laughing at him as you ran towards his car.

'I'm gonna fucking kick your ass in training!' Diego's half-yelling and half-laughing, chasing after you, following the sound of your laughter across the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos/comments appreciated! ♡


	5. green ray

'They say,' Diego Hargreeves explains, his attention still on the dumbass book. 'When you see the green ray as the sun begins to set, you can perceive your feelings… And others too.'

Today's the most you've spent in Diego's car. He takes you on a little trip to a popular overlook that weekend, roughly a two-hour drive outside the city. You didn't complain. It's fun. It takes your mind off of things. And it's partly your fault, in a way.

You don't know why, but your powers stopped working a week before. You can't stop his knives, and you can't sense anyone's emotions. There was _nothing_. You're at a loss, unsure of what happened and what bought it about. Your little predicament halts training, much to the dismay of your knife throwing friend. You would've been better off moping in your apartment, but you know Diego isn't the type who'd let you. 'It'll be fun,' he assured you, dragging you out of your apartment that Saturday morning, driving you to god knows where.

'It only happens for a couple of moments. Seconds. Who knows… But maybe we can see it today,' He continues, idly turning pages of the book. You stand beside him, leaning against the steel railing over the lookout. You've been there with him for the entire afternoon, just talking and letting him read his book, watching the blue sky fade into a warm shade of orange. You watch the sun very, _very_ slowly dip towards the ocean from the horizon.

'Why are you reading this again?' you ask, turning your gaze towards him, away from the soon-to-be happening sunset.

'Sometimes I pick up books at Mom's,' he replies matter-of-factly, waving the small, tattered copy of _Le Rayon vert_ by Jules Verne at you. 'And I dunno... I thought maybe it'll affect your powers or something.' he adds, looking out at the horizon. It's funny hearing him sound half-hopeful that a myth from a book will help solve your predicament. You smile at the thought, wishing it was so. Maybe when the sun turns green, you get your powers back. Maybe you'll sense all the emotions again. Yours and everyone else's.

Maybe… You'll sense what he feels for you.

So you stay there with him, basking in the warm glow of the setting sun. Feeling the sea breeze hit your face. Waiting for the moment.

The lookout is perched on the cliff, steel railing across the edges, and a couple of benches along the path. You watch as visitors come and go. Some spend a couple of minutes watching the sea below, and some take photos of themselves in front of the beautiful view of the horizon. It occurs to you Diego has the same thing in mind, whipping out his phone all of a sudden.

'What...' you look away from his phone as soon as you hear the camera snap in your direction, hiding your embarrassed laughs behind your hand.

'What?' he grins. 'It's a little souvenir. We drove all this way, man.'

'Hargreeves—'

'If we don't take a pic, it's like it never happened.' ('That's not how it works!' you laugh, folding your arms at him in protest.)

'I-I can take your pic, if you want,' offers an unfamiliar voice. The two of you whip around and find the teenager taking selfies awhile ago had turned their attention to the two of you. Diego beams at the idea, eagerly handing them his phone before you can object.

'Can your girlfriend move closer to you?' They quietly suggest as they squint at the phone screen, kneeling on the ground to get a good angle of the two of you and the horizon. You're his _what_ now? You look up at Diego, eyes wide. But he's not looking at you. The whole thing's happening so fast. He's smiling, looking right at the lens of his mobile phone. His arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Did he hear what the kid just said? Is he pretending he didn't hear all of that? Someone just called you 'girlfriend'. His partner. Someone involved with him. _Romantically._ You flush at the thought. 

Hearing it out loud right now feels like your heart is about to burst again. Like the love you've hidden for so long had been spoken out of existence and out into the world at the mere mention of 'girlfriend' by an unassuming teenager. Like a ray of green light spilling around your heart. You feel so… Perceived. But the moment is over now. The pictures had been taken, and the phone returned to Diego. And the feeling is gone, dissipating along with it, as quickly as it came.

'Hey,' he whispers, turning the camera lens onto you. 'Look over here.'

'I—' You bow your head, hiding the mortified look on your face.

He knows you don't like it.

There's something about being bullied for your looks growing up that stays with you when you get older. You always assume you'd get over it when you're a proper adult (like right now), more secure of yourself (occasionally), and more comfortable in the clothes you're in (well, sometimes… in your favourite dress). But you still had those days. You're never comfortable with your photo being taken by someone else. It's so easy avoiding the lens of a camera when you're the one taking photos of everyone else, right?

He says your name gently, and you don't look his way until the last second. And you hear the camera snap as soon as you did.

Diego shows you the photo. It's you, cheeks red from embarrassment, your smile caught in mid-laughter. Your hair was blown back by the wind in the blurry — beautiful — photo of you. It feels like he staged the whole thing.

'I love it.' He takes his phone back again for a couple of seconds before showing it to you again, the photo of you set as his wallpaper. 'My "girlfriend" looks so cute here…'

'Oh my god... _Oh my god._ ' you start, rolling your eyes as you hear him say it. 'Hargreeves, you are _so_ —'

You never finish your sentence. You look up, watching the orange sky transition into a light purple. The sun had already set. You never see the green ray. You miss the moment. The moment's Diego has been waiting for, so distracted by picture taking and embarrassed smiles. 'We can always come back,' he assures you, reading the disappointed look on your face. 'Now that you're not training... We can do other things, right?'

 _'We_.' You like how it sounds. How he says it. It makes you feel at ease, more than someone mistaking you as his girlfriend. It's so assuring to hear, so many things to anticipate, so many things to do, places to drive to... Together with him. It makes you realise that he's not there simply because of your powers. And that he looks forward to days with you, with or without them. He's simply there for you.

* * *

'Are you sad we never got to see it?' Diego asks you at some point that evening as you drive back to the city. You could only manage a shrug. You're feeling a little tired, your eyelids heavy from the entire day.

'Nah… The drive makes up for it. I like your dumbass car…' you murmur. You're dragging your words a little longer now. You're so sleepy, and Diego's car is so comfortable… So easy to relax and lay back on… A lazy smile graces your lips as you lean back against the passenger seat, closing your eyes. 'And the view.'

_Him, too._

'Cute pic too.' he says quietly, looking at you for a moment. You never hear him say it, as you fall asleep immediately with your head against the car window. Diego chuckles to himself, his gaze drifting to his phone screen. He never changes the wallpaper on his phone. It's still you; the blurry photo at the cliffs that he took, your smile caught in mid-laughter, the sunset catching your face in an orange glow.

It's still you.

It always has been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos/comments appreciated! ♡


End file.
